Last Goodbyes
by AllThingsInsane
Summary: "You don't owe me nothin.' Benny would do anything for Dean, even going back into the bowels of purgatory to save Dean's little brother. Unbeknownst to Dean, Benny's future topside is numbered. Spoilers for 8x19 "Taxi Driver."


"Go on, now. Tell Dean I said goodbye." In many ways, it was a reprieve of sorts. Benny had tried living in the modern world, and it hadn't been what he thought at all. It was hard maintaining an air of normalcy while every instinct he had, was begging him to come to terms with his true nature, and how much he _didn't _belong.

Truth be told, he had been searching for a way to end it all. Obviously beheading himself wasn't an option, and he was too proud to search out his old nest mates and have them do the ugly deed.

When his prepaid cell phone lit up with Dean's number after many weeks of silence, he figured that the fates up there had some strange sense of irony, that right at his lowest of lows, his best friend would finally be reaching out to him.

"Hey, Dean," he spoke softly, as he paused every once in awhile to take a sip from his life-saving supply of blood bags. It was all thanks to Dean that he had hooked him up with the keys to a blood bank in the city.

"_Benny_," the older hunter said, his voice broken beyond what Benny had ever heard it, even when they were stuck in the bowels of purgatory. "_I need to ask you a favor_."

"You name it," Benny vowed, figuring he owed it to Dean to do anything he asked, after what Dean had done for him in allowing him a respite from that place.

"_Don't be so quick_," Dean warned. "_It's my little brother, Benny. He's stuck down there_." By "there" Benny knew what Dean was talking about without further clarification. "_I need your help."_

"I'm on my way," Benny said, hanging up the phone before Dean could utter another word. It would take him several hours to reach the meeting point he and Dean had long ago agreed on, but it was worth it.

Like he anticipated, Dean was waiting for him when he arrived at the side alley. It was secluded, private, exactly the kind of place to make secret dealings with vampires and hunters.

"Thank you for coming," Dean said, stepping out of his Impala. "If you don't want anything to do with this I completely understand."

Dean was never one to beat around the bush when he wanted something, and now was one of those times. Benny let out a low whistle as he slowly paced around the enclosed space.

"Wow. Dean Winchester ask for a favor, he's not screwin' around."

"Benny, sending you back there is the _last _thing I ever wanted to do."

Benny nodded. He knew Dean's heart probably better than anyone. "I know, I know," he said softly.

"But my little brother is stuck down there," he reiterated, his voice craking with the pain and desperation he felt.

"This is the little brother that wants to kill me, right?" Benny joked.

"You got access to the place," Dean reminded him.

"By "access" you mean beheading?" Benny prompted.

Dean lowered his head, a flash of shame and guilt in his eyes before he managed to erase it, by some superhuman effort. "Yeah, you're right. It's too much. I haven't exactly been there for you lately," he said apologetically.

"Oh, come on, Dean. You know I love a challenge."

Maybe this was the answer that he had been seeking, going back to Purgatory, erasing all the months of shame and depression he had felt since returning.

"You serious?" Dean asked incredulously.

"Hey, he's your brother. I said let's do this."

Tears pricked at the corner of Dean's eyes as he regarded his friend. It was such a strange sight, to see Dean Winchester crying, that Benny almost didn't know what to think of it.

"I owe you," Dean promised.

Benny shook his head, denying Dean's statement instantly. "You don't owe me nothin'. Truth is," he confessed, "I could use a break from all this."

"It's really been that tough?"

"It's not a good fit, Dean. I don't _belong_." And it was true, to a point. He had a home in his friendship with Dean, and the brotherhood they shared while down under, but Dean aside, he knew he couldn't rely on him forever. "After awhile, it starts to wear on you."

Shaking off the tears of self-pity that he felt at his "chick flick" moment, as Dean would call it, he laughed. "Right. Cry me a river. Like you need to hear all this."

"Well, when you get back up here, we're going to fix all that."

It was the promise of a future that Benny wasn't entirely sure he wanted. It would be nice to rekindle what friendship he had with Dean, but he couldn't allow Dean to be his crutch for the rest of his existence, and he knew that. Purgatory, where all the monsters went when the lights went out for them, the same should have applied to him and he knew it.

"When I get back?"

"Yeah, you find the portal and ride out with Sam like you did with me. And as soon as you get out, I'm going to haul my ass over to Maine as soon as you get topside."

"Yeah, that sounds like a plan."

It wasn't, really. Benny knew that he would not be coming home, he knew that. Worrying Dean with that plan was the last thing he wanted to burden his friend with, so he let Dean pick up that machete and hack his head off.

It was just. It was his reward, he figured, for the wrongs that he had done in his life, and it was giving Dean his life back, and more importantly, his relationship and trust with his little brother.


End file.
